It seems pretty logical that the busier I am, the less time I have for interneting. Logical, yet I keep catching myself feeling genuinely surprised by how disconnected from social media, forums, and articles I’ve been for the past several weeks. I work an average of 65 hours in one week, which makes it almost arduous to squeeze in mindless phone-scrolling during precious downtime. The only phone time that currently makes the cut is dedicated to Pokémon Go and Design Home.
Kinda sums up my interests, tbh.
Flashback to pre-March: my days were split up into a few hours of job-searching, a few hours of video games, and as much time as I felt like spending on making meals like I had all the time in the world (which I kinda did, thanks to unemployment and a supportive partner). Catching up Facebook and making new friends on Twitter was too easy and I read the newest of news every day. I also had the time to write and start freelancing, baby-steppin’ my way to realizing it’s something that I would be happy doing as an actual career.
So basically I had all the time in the world, and 90 percent of it was spent in front of screens and food. My current self is way happier and productive, but the reality of how much my day-to-day activities has changed finally snuck up on me in the past few days. Having a new backdrop, new apartment, and gradual disconnection from friends, family, and former coworkers has made the bedrock of my identity a little shaky. Just a teeny personality earthquake, making room for new experiences and influences or something.
It’s been so long since I’ve actively posted anything on Instagram or Facebook (wedding trip pics don’t count – that’s obligatory) that I went to post a selfie and couldn’t hit ‘post’ for some self-conscious reason that is normally foreign to me. It was a weird moment and made me realize that I’ve life-experienced my way out of touch with who I am.
In the spirit of wellness, I decided to write about that weird moment. Being aware of myself is something that I normally embrace, for better or worse, and this moment is sort of a mile marker. I levelled up a bit! ‘S cool. That uncomfortable-in-my-skin feeling means that I’ve done a lot of stuff that has shaped me – I just need to take some time to get to know myself again. Catch up ‘n stuff.
I’ll let you know how that goes. :)